I know I am not the only one with this problem. As im sure many have discovered DDR board suck for one reason. TV tuners hardly work. I have a IWill KA266 and it does not work at all. This is because of the ALi chipset and ALi’s lazyness to fix this problem. Has anyone gotten thier tv tuner to work with out buying a new mobo?

I dont want to go to that class. If he bothers me again i want to toss him down the stairs. Such a terrible teacher. thump thump thump klunk thud. happy me! ok i’m done

MrLithium000: y0
c y b e r k n i: w0rd!
c y b e r k n i: sup g?
MrLithium000: word yo

Who’s the homie now?

Arg! How am I supposed to do this crap with out him showing my. Why would anyone use things like this. Its so dumb. Blah. I’m being vague I know because i am frustrated. Its all this drafting crap. Its so stupid.. grrr..

I just noticed how appropriate my music was.. heh

I hate doing hw this late. Its not fun. Good night

The project I was on was supposed to be handed off to the red cross. It was very frustrating when they did not want to put thier workers they because it was not “safe”. I don’t blame them. On the other hand I dont think that workers should have to walk 6 blocks to get food. From what I saw we were the largest food distro place near that area. Also, they have blocked all volunteers out. FEMA has taken it over pretty much and in order for anyone to get in they must have a special pass issued at some school. We tried to get them, but they were un successful, too many hoops to jump through and too much regulation. Basicly, they day I went in was the last day volunteers will probobly be seen near the area unless they live there. They don’t seem to be kicking people out but once you leave you might not get back in. I hope that this disappointing removal of volunteers is for the good and not for some big cheeze to get his name on the rescue operations. If it is its ok then, he needs a self esteem boost, he sucks all the same. Oh well. I am dead tired, and thirsty. I hope I am done.

That is all. I think I have it all out of my system. Actually no I don’t. I felt terrible for some of the Jr. High students some of them went through horrible stuff. Much worse that me. Some of them did not know if they had fathers for hours. Some peoples friends lost fathers and mothers. I wish I know how to help them all. The best I can do is listen, encourage, hug, etc. I wish I could say some perfect words and make it all go away. I wish I could bring these people back. I wish alot of things. None which will happen so I make do with what I have and trust God to take care of the miracles and me. Now I am done. Whew. One week… I dont think so. It was a month. I went in to a coffee house in NYC and sat there for like an hour. They let all the volunteers get free coffee and chill there. It was totally surreal as my coworker said. It was like normality in this warzone like area we were working in. I wish my brain had like an alphabetize feature so I could organize my thoughts. Well thats what this is for.

I had church. I cried. I vented. It was painful. I dont even know if I want to even write about it but I’m going to as much as I want now. They talked about Todd to all the High School and Jr. High kids and I was there helping. I felt bad for not crying and then poeple started crying and I held it back and it popped after it was all over. I hate crying. I really do. Todd had a memorial service at church at 3pm. It was really hard for me. Todd was my Sunday school teacher for all of high school. I learned so much from him. He knew me by name. I felt like I knew him and he made an impact on my life in many ways I could not even begin to write about. They had this photo slideshow of his life. I found that especially hard. The pictures of him and his wife really got to me. The worst was him playing with his children. I think what makes me feel the worst is the thought of growing up with out my father. It such a terrible thought. I have always had a Dad, I have never even been worried of not having him. Todd was a hero they made sure the world knew it tonight. His wife Lisa was presented with a flag from a Air Force officer. Over all the service did not really really totally get to me till the very end. A college student who I knew, Leonard sang this song. It was about how a man went to heaven and met his sunday school teacher. It just hit me like a brick i was huddled up, so upset, I dont like doing that. It feels wrong but I know it has to happen other wise it will be worse. I’m glad he sang that song. I hope that I can place my self in that song some day. There was this part about the teacher praying in the song, I know that they were not the direct part of my salvation but all the youth leaders were a major part. I knew all the info but I just did not want to accept it till the day I did. Thats another story I am not going to tell now unless asked. I saw my old youth pastor and that was nice. He changed and I like the changes. I’m sure he is doing cool stuff at the church he is at now and they are lucky to have him. That brings us up to now.

This week has been a rollercoaster of crying, anger, pissed off, tiredness, hunger, sadness, worry, frustration, and alot of other crap. I lost 2 people in my life. One I knew and the other one was related to me. Its been a bad week and I want to see what President Bush is going to do. Whatever he does as long as he takes direct action I will support him. If he weasels around with these criminals/murderers/terrorists/evil people I will not be voting for him in fact I will be angry again. Action needs to be taken. The right measures to prevent this need to be taken. If they are not America is still open season for terrorists. I know lots of coutries deal with this on a day to day basis and I can truely feel for them now. I understand the pain and sadness of it all now. I would never wish this upon anyone and I pray that it happens to no one.

This was a day I will never forget ever.

I saw things that media never showed.

I was where the media could not go. Not like they did not try. We caught someone trying to sneak in with us at one point during the day.

I went to NYC with my boss from work(Mier) to do work. He is in the Army Reserves so he had the ability to get me through the tightening security in NJ and NYC. I worked accross the street from 1 Liberty Plaza in a Burger King. They have converted the building in to a command post/ food distrobution location. Our groups objective was to clean it up and serve food. I was specifically doing clean up and working to restore water to the upper level. On ground level of the burger king when we arrived it was a mess of equipment of the ex-BK, water, mud, dust, rotten food, donations, and people. I spent alot of time organzing food because it was just everywhere. One particular job I had was not a pleasant experience at all. They wanted to restore water to bathrooms upstairs. Someone must of been sick. Alot of people must of been sick because I have never seen so much toilet paper and crap in one toilet bowl before im my life. It was just insane. I had acid gloves on, and a respirator and I dug in. I almost vomited a number of times. It was just gross. It needed to be done so I did it.

I spent a deal of time around the city as well. We were parked about 6 blocks or so away from where we were working(like less 50 ft away from ground zero of building 7 and 100+ft from ground zero of the towers). I got to walk back and forth between these locations because I was in charge of giving all the people who were in our group thier ID tags. I made this trek 5 times and my feet were killing me. When you walk through the city especially when you get closer to the collapse you must have a respirator or at least a debris mask(doesnt help must) on. I did not wear mine enough because i was coughing up a lung at times. When you are inside the dust you really don’t notice it untill a helicopter flys by then dust gets in your eyes if you don’t put on goggles.

I saw what happened there. The tv does not show it all because they cant get in close to see it. The splash damage from building 7 is incredible. 1 Liberty plaza might as well of been hit because it is on the verge of collapse as I type. Windows are gone. Where the windows are gone you can see in from the ground and see the rooms are trashed. Drop ceilings annihilated along with the rest of the room. The dust on the ground makes concrete feel soft, its a creepy feeling knowing that you are walking on one of the tallest buildings in the world. The area is so dirty, there is trash everywhere and it is only getting worse from what I see. No one cares about that right now which is good because the primary target is to save some lives or at least get the bodies that they can out of the bulding. When I came home, my clothes smelled horrible, like dust, asbestos, and everything in that area of the city.

When I left the city that evening there were crouds of cheering people and stuff. It was something I have never experinced. Crouds of people cheering for the little work you volunteered. They gave us cold water, some offered us doughnuts. I was waving my little mini american flag as we were cruizing in my boss’s Acura SUV. I have never slept better in my life. I felt like I got hit by a truck.

I just wish I could describe what I was better. It was all the wreck everyone saw on TV plus the buildings around it. Just absolutely incredible the amount of damage. So many of the buldings there we be gone soon just because of such servere structural damage.

Another thing, people can be so good. These expensive resturants have opened their doors and are feeding workers. I ate in a place that I could prolly never afford. They were serving pasta and a really good salad. It made me proud to be an American and to be waving that flag, working to help the people save lives and help bring closure for others.

I think thats all that happened. I will definately add to this if I remember more. It was a day that I will never forget. It was an experience I was honored to be included in and I would never sell it for anything.